Here I sit in a house that is almost empty, with a PODS container outside in the driveway holding what I have left that I will unearth when we return from our adventure of living around the world. There are still plenty of things left to do to get us "move ready" but this morning I feel that trolling FB, IG, and Pinterest are all much more relevant to my mood than packing or going through anything else.
You see yesterday was my last day at my job. While most people would dance at the fact they won't be returning to their place of employment - I tried desperately to hide the fact that I was an emotional wreck and only one more hug away from complete and udder melt down, cue the ugly cry. I started with a semi- ugly cry yesterday prior to putting my make up on. At least I did things in the correct chronological order, right? It just hit me that I was leaving my students, and a few in particular, I love as my own. I was going to miss going to Homecoming, Grad Bash, Prom, and Graduation with these kids. I have been with them since they were freshman. I felt a wave of guilt. However, I got myself together and got to the car, then my Instagram alert went off and in true ADD fashion I couldn't wait to check it....
Yep, cue that on-the verve ugly cry again... #shesmymomatschool, knife to the heart for real.
They pulled out the big guns... here comes the teary-eyed Mistie once again when I arrived at school.
It is still overwhelming to have it put out there that I made an impact on these kids. As an administrator, I have always been the bad guy - dealing out discipline, calling parents, it is just the make up of my job. However, I chose when I came into administration to not only be a disciplinarian but to also know my kids. I wanted to know about them, their home situation (which makes a huge difference in dealing with them), to have some sort of relationship with them where I was approachable but also stern when I had to be. Yesterday was all the validation that I needed. I do this job for the kids. Not for myself, for the teachers, or for the parents. I attended all the sporting events, bought countless t-shirts, tubs of cookie dough, candles, wrapping paper, dried tears, gave advice, helped write resumes, wrote letters of recommendation, spent time after school just talking with these kids. This list could go on and on. But I did everything for the kids. My kids. Did I love all of them to pieces? No, I will not lie. They drove me batty, gave me pre-mature gray hairs, and I've lost sleep over worrying about them. Yet, I always went back and looked forward to seeing them. These kids have been my life for the past four years and that is why yesterday while the pain was there I knew deep down as the hugs came, the tears flowed and I ate more candy and cupcakes than anyone should in a day, that I knew I made a difference. It is sad that several people in this profession never get that validation in a true form. I now know I accomplished what I set out to do when I decided that I wanted to become an administrator. Some have said that these students were so blessed to have me; I think that it is completely the contrary. I am so incredibly blessed to have watched them grow, to have learned from them, and knowing that I made a mark on them. So, to the students that will read this - thank YOU for allowing me to be a part of your high school years. You have made me so proud.
The GQ Club
Rodriguez, Signing off.
Now where are my damn tissues...