Makeover time

So a confession.... I've kind of let myself go.

I know, it happens to everyone from time to time but this extended period of ridiculousness is just that: ridiculous. I think back to a little over a year ago and I was hitting the gym hard. Twice daily to be exact - 5am and then boxing at night. I was really motivated and I was feeling great. I have never been comfortable in my own skin and I was so pumped to finally be doing something about it. I had an amazing boxing trainer and I think that I owe much of my motivation to him. I didn't want to let him down by not showing up, I pushed myself hard because I wanted to show I was strong and I could work hard. But I guess I lost track that I really needed to be showing myself the strength and I need to be my own motivation. I ended up hurting my Achilles tendon and that shot in my tendon is something I NEVER want to experience again. It really scared me because I went back to the gym after but I was always so cautious. I didn't want to get hurt again, I didn't push as hard and I stopped seeing a lot of the results. End of story: I got discouraged and I quit on myself. I slipped back into old habits, packed all the weight back on and then I got really mad at myself because I had worked so incredibly hard to lose it. So here I am. Irritated with myself, uncomfortable, and starting over...again. For the last.damn.time.

So we have a gym here in my new digs in Abu Dhabi and I plan to start visiting it this week. I finally found some shoes since I left all my tennis shoes back home on accident. No really - it was an accident. I tried to start wearing my Jawbone to find that it no longer holds a charge (annoying) so my husband and I both bought FitBit HR bands which I am really liking so far. I like seeing an in your face accountability for moving, calories, and steps. I also have started logging food in MyFitnessPal again. Coincidentally, one of my friends invited me to a "Spring Fitness" group on Facebook so I gladly signed up and I am hoping to use that as a motivation and accountability as well. Plus, I will blog my journey and use this as accountability as well.


 So here are my goals:

96 oz of water to start per day (I found a 24 oz. bottle so that is my reasoning - 4 bottles a day)
Trying to phase out sugar but I've gotta figure out a happy medium
Gotta stop soda. Like yesterday. No more soda.
8,000 steps a day
at least 4 workouts per week





Keep in mind these are my goals for this week. I think I am also going to do daily fitness goals and post on Instagram daily. That is always a good daily accountability & it reminds me each day to accomplish something. A big driving force is when I go home for the first time in December. I want to look and be a completely different, better, and healthier me.

Feel free to cheer me on, follow me on Instagram for my daily goals, and hold me accountable. Any challenges out there that I can join - comment below!

The Stereotypical Pleaser

I was asked yesterday if I was beginning my midlife crisis early.This is largely due to the fact that I decided it would be a fantastic idea to dye my hair a little bit of the rainbow in its blue, pink, and purple glory. I stand by my decision whole-heartedly, mind you. No, this is not the beginning of a midlife crisis, or an early 30-something freak out. I have had a little time lately to kind of reflect on me, my life, and my choices.

I will tell you I've definitely made some questionable decisions in life but not a one that I regret. However, in looking back at these decisions, I also can see where I have tried to always pick the lesser of the two evils, the way of less confrontation; ultimately the road more traveled. I have rarely made a decision based on just me: what I want and what would make me 100 shades of happy. I have always put others thoughts, feelings, emotions, and opinions before my own. I like to make people happy; I discovered I am the stereotypical pleaser. There are several instances that I can look back and say I made a decision not for me, but based on those around me. What would make them happy. Some of these decisions pushed people out of my life that I really wanted in my life. Isn't that tragic? I have excluded people, instances, events all in the hopes that I can make someone else happy.

An exorbitant amount of time has been devoted to this realization. I'm not sure why this infinite wisdom struck now but I am glad that somehow it weaseled its ways into my thoughts because sometimes there is no better time than the present to make some changes. I have decided that I am a pretty good person; I am giving, thoughtful, reliable, and kind to most (lets not be confused, I am no angel). But it is the time in my life to make decisions based on what will make me happy and what I want. I am gonna do me.  Clearly, I am not going to go out of my way to hurt feelings or morph into a different person, but I need to speak up when something is bothering me, make decisions without always wondering how I will be judged and just go for it. This life is so fragile and who knows when our time here is up. I don't ever want to look back and say "What if I..." and question my decision making. I have lived too long hoping that I would be good enough, and praying that I would not only live up to, but exceed expectations. So I vow that not only will I live up the expectations of all those who have put the expectation out there, I will shatter the expectations I have set before me.

And I feel damn good about it.